you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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