You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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