We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
