it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
