Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just blew my weed a kiss
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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