Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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