i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
