Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
