real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
