That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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