I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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