..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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