Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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