so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
