somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
