Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
