not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
