she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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