Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
