I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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