I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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