"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Randomize
