can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
