I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
