did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Found your dick twin last night
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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