just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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