Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
