she was so not down for the gang bang
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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