I CAN MOONWALK!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
