Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
