I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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