Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
