So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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