I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
ok first of all what the fuck
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
