I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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