Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
