I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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