my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
