Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
