Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
