If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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