i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
