Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
