No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
