Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize