Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
