He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
