brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
