i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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