I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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