I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
