i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
