You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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