yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
