So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I would fuck him just for his dog
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