you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
