everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize