Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
