white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
