You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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