The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
They have beer where we have blood.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
