guys are not supposed to queef...right?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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