So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Help. Why am I so naked?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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