There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
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