just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
