He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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