Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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