He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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