Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
