after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize