Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
