Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize